Seasons, Burners, Juggling with Glass
Reframes can change your life. Here’s three that I use when I’m feeling stuck, when I’m trying to prioritize, or just generally feeling overwhelmed.
Everything is a season
When I think about the details of my life at this very moment - the hum of unease about COVID-19 and how I have no idea how/when life will “return” to anything like it was before, or what it will morph into, for that matter. How my life is about a 10 on a 1-10 scale of unstructured to structured right now - meted out in 30 minute chunks from the moment I hear a “MAMA” at 6AM to the ritual of closing the blinds every night at 10PM -- a churn of caregiving and video calls an indistinguishable blur of days running into each other. When I think about this, it’s easy for me to despair a bit, to flounder in “is this it? Is this my life FOREVER?” And then I remind myself, this is a season. Change is the only constant. This too, will shift. This season of rigidity and uncertainty will give way - bit by bit or all at once, but it will happen. When I think about this moment in time as a season it allows me to lean into it more. To hold moments of brightness close and marvel about the set of circumstances that led me here. To delight in toddler costumes at 630AM and to notice the patterns of moonlight on the wall when my baby wakes up at 2AM. Knowing it will change gives me perspective and a foothold into gratitude for this season.
Four Burners Theory
When I feel extra busy, I think about this idea - that your life is like a stovetop - you’ve got four burners to cook with, but you can’t focus on all of them at once - some need to be simmering in the back while you are actively boiling another. This is where prep and planning are key. Knowing the rough plan of when things need active vs passive attention gives me a sense of competency. If I know that the next few weeks of work will be bananas, I can turn the flame up on the work burner, and down on everything else - knowing I can press pause on other commitments for a bit until work isn’t so slammed. Similarly, just looking ahead in my calendar and knowing my kids have a stretch of doctors appointments or school functions, lets me prioritize accordingly.
Juggling Glass and Plastic Balls
This one comes from the writer Nora Roberts - and it’s about thinking about every single task and commitment you’re making and knowing on a daily basis, which of these tasks is like a glass ball and which one is plastic. If you’re juggling all of these balls and you happen to drop a plastic ball- it bounces - no harm done. If you drop a glass ball, however, it shatters. This acts a great prioritizer for me when I start labeling all of my tasks as must-dos, and the stress that comes along with not finishing all of them.